Too Many Twins
by caughtbyfire
Summary: There are twins all over base. Lennox isn't sure he can handle any more.


Twins are a rarity among humans, and even more so among Cybertronians. But whether it was a blessing or a curse to have so many running around base, Lennox didn't know.

The first pair he met didn't exactly provide the best first impression. Aside from adopting some of the worst possible Earth culture, Skids and Mudflap were _always_ fighting. _Every little thing_ seemed to set them off. Their childish bickering would soon escalate from petty insults to full on brawling, and the worst part was that they weren't shy about where they did it either.

Some of his soldiers had been caught placing bets on who would win, and he spent the better part of an afternoon explaining to Mearing that he _wasn't_ running an underground alien robot fight club. That hadn't been a fun conversation, partly because of his soldiers' irresponsibility, and partly because he had lost $200 to a _very_ amused Epps.

With the arrival of the second lot, he thought he was prepared.

Frag, was he wrong.

If Sideswipe was considered trouble without his brother, he was fragging _Unicron incarnate_ with him. Not a day seemed to go by without someone (bot or otherwise) waking up a different colour, covered in feathers, or even dangling from the roof in one case.

Optimus had _not_ been pleased.

The longer he got to know them, the more Ratchet's look of _sheer dismay_ made sense. They were both batslag crazy, but in different ways. Sideswipe was apparently not a fan of the base's specially designed Cybertronain assault course. Instead, he opted to drive around the base at two hundred miles an hour using the nearby humans as obstacles. Only when Sarah yelled at him for almost hitting Annabelle did he come up with the _brilliant_ idea of strapping the toddler in his passenger seat while he did his 'training'. And while Sarah was less than impressed, Will didn't really have a problem with it. She was wearing her seatbelt, wasn't she?

As for Terror Twin Two, Sunstreaker was nothing short of a sociopath. He refused to _look_ at most humans, let alone talk to them, and _Primus forbid_ someone touched his paint job. The last time a soldier accidentally brushed against the yellow mech...Lennox shuddered just thinking about it. Let's just say he found out what happens when gelatine, fireworks and a raccoon were put together. It wasn't pretty.

He found solace in the fact that they at least didn't fight as much as the Chevys. That's not to say they didn't have their disagreements- no, they definitely did. Although, he's not sure what Sideswipe expects when he somehow manages to call his brother Sunny ten times in one sentence.

By the time he met the third (and thankfully final) pair of twins, Lennox had already half given up trying to understand them. The first thing he learned about Topspin and Twin Twist was that they were a different from the other duos - they had a branched spark. It took him a while to comprehend, but essentially they were living embodiment of all those twin telepathy movies. They shared each others' thoughts and sometimes even pain, which he found out the hard way.

Topspin had been sent out with a few others to take down a couple of rogue Decepticons, while his brother had stayed behind to get to know base better. Lennox had been sharing a casual conversation with Twin Twist (who was surprisingly well-mannered for a disturbingly violent explosives expert) when the mech had fallen unconscious mid sentence. It was a miracle he hadn't landed on any of the surrounding soldiers. The driller wasn't visibly hurt, which made Lennox panic even more. By the time he had called Epps, Ratchet, Jolt, Optimus Prime and half a dozen others, the mech had come back online. Lennox could only gape in disbelief as the bot apologised and proceed to continue his sentence as if he _hadn't_ just passed out in front of them.

Turns out, Topspin had been briefly knocked offline during the battle and by default, Twin Twist too. Then, to add insult to injury, they had the audacity to look _confused_ when the other twins informed them that _no,_ it was _not normal_ to occasionally _collapse in agony._

Sometimes, the trigger of his machine gun was all too tempting.

In fairness to them, their fights were the least annoying, if only because they weren't vocal. And they were jumpstarters, meaning they transformed much faster than the usual bot. Annabelle loved watching them transform almost as much as she loved playing peekaboo with Mirage. None of the bots really enjoyed entertaining his daughter, and they _apparently_ only did it because Ironhide forced them to. But they weren't fooling anyone.

Sarah Lennox could be damned scary when she wanted to be.

O - O - O - O- O-O

Whenever he passes one of the six twins on base, he can't help but wonder if he'd have a little less grey hair without them.

The answer is probably yes.

But, as often as he feels like dismantling the lot of them, he knows that it wouldn't be the same without them. After all, what kind of family doesn't have at least a few crazy glitches?

 _Besides,_ he thinks decisively, _it doesn't matter what colour my hair is. Sideswipe bleached it pink weeks ago._


End file.
